I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
