At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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