I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
