the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
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Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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