I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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