Where is the hickey?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
