This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
