I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
