My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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