drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize