all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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