so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
