Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.