At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.