i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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