nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
