He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
