I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
