He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
