She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i drank out of a bidet.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
