hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
