3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
