PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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