discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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