so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
