What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Life is so much better after having sex.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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