its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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