some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize