awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
