I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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