we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
