he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
