Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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