KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i will never coherently bang her
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
