Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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