Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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