Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
