She went from zero to smokin in five shots
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
