I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
