There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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