There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So gin and wine won't be happening again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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