haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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