I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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