yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
