gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't think brook has ever known best
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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