I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
