Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
