really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
