Non-Jews are for practice
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
