For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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