Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
