i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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