He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
