I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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