I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
