OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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