You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
