Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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