Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We need to rekindle our bromance
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize