porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
