had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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