He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
