he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
